Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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