Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
