OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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