Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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