So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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