Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
