dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
