Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
