she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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