I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize