Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
