you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize