So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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