we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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