I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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