He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
