just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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