butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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