That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
