i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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