I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We left the knife in your bed.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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