Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
