Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize