i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
