Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
