can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
