C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
