i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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