Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
