tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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