i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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