let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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