biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
