The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
where are my eyebrows?
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