Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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