CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
