Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
