Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
