Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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