idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
