i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
