you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
