Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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