I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
