So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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