if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
