Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
