porn star boner night. come get it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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