a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
