The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
