so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
