In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
