I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
