One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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