Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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