Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
